How to remove nervousness while speaking

                    How to remove nervousness

Hello my wonderful reader, today we would read about why people get nervous while speaking this is very common problem.

If you are like me then whenever you have to talk to a stranger these thoughts come to your mind also. 'Am I looking okay?' , 'what if they don't like me?', 'OMG.. but my English is so bad', 'what if they think I am stupid?'I was shit scared of talking to new people too, but even then, I went on to represent India at the world championship of Public speaking at Florida , USA after winning 4 rounds. And if I can stand on that stage and talk to hundreds of strangers, without peeing my pants then so can you. And today I am going to tell you exactly how.so it doesn't matter if you just want to go to stranger and say"Hi", give a smashing presentation in front of hundreds of strangers or simple ask a guy or girl out a date; today by the end of this blog, you will learn how to be confident while talking to strangers so in today's blog we are going to learn how to talk to one stranger, how to talk to 10-12 strangers in a group Discussion, especially during interviews. And finally we are going to see how to master public speaking and give brilliant presentations; be it in your school or in your office.But most importantly, toward the end , I'll give you a Bonus Tip that will turn the tables and make you fall in love with talking to strangers. But before that, if you like what I am saying am sure you hit that big fat " share" button because that motivates me to make more videos. Lets begin

1. one-on-one conversation

See, all of us have a close group of friends and family that we are very comfortable talking to.But when it comes to-talking to somebody outside this group, we think twice about it, our heart starts beating faster and some of us even start sweating.So here are the 3 things that you must do to keep your heart- rate in check .

1.  Realize you don't have to be perfect

I want you to think about the top 3 villains that you hate.

Mine are Regina geoge from mean girls

kamolika from kasauti

and of course, Thanos

If you think about it , all of these 3 character are smart, dress great and are perfect and that's why we hate them. Being perfect will not make people like you. On the contrary, it will make people dislike you.Whenever you are talking to someone and he/she notices that you also have flaws , you also make mistakes,you also have your insecurities just like them,that's when that's when that connection happens.

2. Make it about them. if you want to build with someone, make the conversion all about them. you can ask questions like... where did you do your schooling?'did you like the new avengers movie?' how are you so smart, tell me, do you also read untold stories blogs? this has 2 benefits.

1. People love talking about themselves. so give them that opportunity and learn more about them.
2. When you shift your mental focus from omg, what am I saying? how am I looking? to all about them their opinions, their interests that' when your nervousness goes down.
3.  Join different groups. jump on the opportunity new people. so help Organise events, join clubs like toastmasters, bni, rotary etc.. where you will get to meet new people regularly and have one- on- one conversations. now apart from these groups, another thing that will help you talk to new people, even outside your country, but for now, remember, you need to get yourself in situations either through groups apps or through communities where you can have as many 1-on-1 conversations as you can. 

Group discussion be it for MBA, job recruitment or bank exams, group discussion is an important round, but it is very different from a 1-on-1 conversation because here you have to impress recruiter who is not even talking to you. instead, the room is full of chaos, he is shouting, she is shouting and nobody is letting you speak. but as little-fingers says, chaos is a ladder. now let's see how we can climb it. whenever you in a group discussion, you can do 2 things to impress a recruiter.

1. show that you are a professional. even if others are shouting, you don't shout. it's just disrespectful. and avoid using informal phrases like, kya yaar? whaat re'? on the other hand, you don't have to use complicated words like shashi tharoor or be a grammar nazi. it's okay to make a few grammatical mistakes here and there as long as you are confident while speaking.

2 . show that you are flexible in accepting other people"s views. this is important because eventually you will work in team where not everybody will agree with you. your team members will com from different lifestyles, backgrounds, religions,beliefs. so even if they don't align with the way you think, it's important that you are open to  new ideas. if you want to know how to start a GD, what to say in the middle, how to summaries it towards the end, and want to know what kind of topics come in a GD round then I have made a separate detailed blog titled, how to prepare for a group discussion'

public speaking.

do you want to know a secret? everybody is afraid of public speaking. the fear of public speaking is the number 1 fear more than death: which means people are ready to die instead of speaking in public which means this fear is no joke. but just like any other skill, even speaking can be mastered and here are the 5 ways to do it.

1 kiss

whenever you are on stage, kiss. keep it simple, silly. have you ever heard navjot sigh sidhu speak?' ;a fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef' *that was a very bad impression* ' even a cock crows over his own  dunghill' I am sure he is a great man but what I am trying to say is that it's okay to sound complicated and smart whenever you are writing a book or the dialogues of movie. you can pause and rewind but whenever you are giving a presentation, your audience cannot pause and rewind you. so you need to be clear from the word go. so keep it simple just like you talk to your friends.

2. take care of your body language 

it's okay to be nervous on stage .The problem is when we show the audience that we are nervous by clutching our wrists too tight, playing with our pockets or pulling on a hand- kerchief. So here are a few gestures that you must avoid whenever you are on stage. 

*playing with your hair

*Apologizing too many times

*having your arms crossed

*Turning your back to the audience

The easiest way to take care of your body language is to get on to the stage and take a few seconds to relax yourself. Just breathe and smile and then start

3. Audience reaction

forget about audience reaction. when you are public speaking , you are talking to a group and in that group somebody fought with his wife, somebody did not get promotion,somebody is tired, somebody is addicted to Instagram And all of these reaction have nothing to do with you personally Think of it this way, when you go to hear someone speak. do you wait for their speech to bomb?No. right? you are there because you want to learn something from them . Most of the audience wants you to succeed and the rest of them don't care because they have their own priorities so even if you see a few bored faces here and there forget about it and just focus on your delivery, you presentation because this is your moment and nobody else can take it away from you. Before I move on to the next section, this is what I want you to do comment and let me know , when was the last time you heard a great presentation and who gave it ? Was it your school principal? or somebody from your office or was it a TED talk?

4. Invest your time and money

it takes to learn how to speak.let me tell you a story In 2010 , I joined a public speaking club called toastmasters. it's a self-help club. nobody is an expert but it's a community that learns by supporting each other. I used to pay 6$ per month to be part of it which is like 72$ per year. my college friends used to tell me, why are you wasting money, just to go there and speak? just a few months back he pinged me. his name is aziz and he said, you remember how I used  to make fun of you?..I was wrong. clearly, public speaking changed your life; so invest as much time and money it takes to learn how to speak well. obviously do not fall for those shams that promise you that they will teach you English in just 30 days. but... if it's an app, a club or a community that says that it's a process and they are with you throughout that process then try them out for a few times, see how others have progressed and if you get positive vibes from them invest your time and money in it. because I have seen people get way ahead in their careers just by getting over their fear of speaking. and one the ways of investing your time and money that go get enroll public speaking classes.

bonus tips 

look, being nervous is not new to you. you were nervous on your first day of school, you were nervous when you first rode the bike, you were nervous when you gave your first exam. but now, all of that nervousness is under your control, right? you know why? because you are a fighter. just like any other skill, speaking confidently is also a skill that takes constant practice that only a fighter like you can do. so today's bonus tip is this.. always go back every time you fail on the stage, go back and do it again. every time you screw up talking to someone, go back and do it again. every time do not clear a GD round, go back and do it again. you will be nervous but it only means that this thing is important to you nervousness is not a stop sign, it's a growth sign. on that note, if you want to receive a notification every time I publish a new blog keep in touch with untold stories I am going to give you a new blog  again very soon, until then keep reading .

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